It might be your fault

I had another topic in mind to post for this month's blog but was somehow led to talk about breakups in relationship with regards to cheating on spouses. As we all know, relationships are part of our existence and started from our birth with our mothers to this present moment you're reading this. Relationships are our avenue to communicate with not just ourselves but with our surroundings. In other words, relationships are the propelling force that wields our longevity in society. Relationships can come in many forms: a professional relationship, a familial relationship, a social relationship or a love relationship and so on. In this blog I'll focus on the love relationship. When two people fall in love, the world which we know to be as a mean and nasty one magically becomes the happiest place to be for these two people as a result of the magical nature of love. This is because love stimulates the brain chemical or hormone that is known as oxytocin which is also known as the love hormone resulting in feelings of happiness and euphoria. As wonderful as a love relationship is, some of them result in heartaches and heartbreaks mostly due to cheating on spouses. In this blog, I'll be using the word spouse or spouses to describe not just husband and wife but boyfriend and girlfriend based on preference. Cheating on your spouse is one of the most hurtful act in a relationship not just because it spells out disloyalty but it tarnishes the sanctity of love. As many, I have been cheated on and I used to have the philosophy that the cheater is selfish and that the cheating was all his or her fault. However, I personally don't share that philosophy totally no longer as I think that some cheating that occurs in a relationship are the faults of the cheatee (the person cheated on). What am I trying to say? Well sometimes cheating is a response or reaction to the behaviour or actions of the person that is cheated on. For Instance, if you are emotionally withdrawn from a relationship or tend not to make time for your spouse, it may lead to cheat on you when they find that emotional investment in someone else. I know of a story of this man always brought mac and cheese everyday to work and his colleagues used to ask him why he always brought the same lunch to work and he simply would say "that's what my wife made for me". Although this man liked his wife's food, he wanted something different. One day a female colleague sat beside him and upon noticing that he brought the same lunch again told him that she will bring something different the next day for him to try. And so she did. He tried her food and he couldn't hide his facial expressions. He loved it and so she kept bringing him lunch to work everyday. Then one day the lady invited this man to her home to make dinner for him and that led to him cheating on his wife. Now who caused the man to cheat? You could blame the man for being careless or selfish but you can agree that the actions of his wife led him to cheat on his wife. Also, cheating could occur due to sexual starvation or sexual dissatisfaction. It is important to know your spouse's sex drive and things they like or do not like in bed because sex is a big part of a love relationship. Sexual starvation or dissatisfaction can also lead to being cheated on. Relationships take work to maintain. Relationships do not just function on words but mostly on actions hence, it is wise to put in that work in your relationship to have a healthy and happy relationship and in a case you're not ready to put in the work then being in a relationship is not for you. Get to know your spouse and their likes or dislikes. Don't just be spouses, be friends, be confidants and you will have a healthy and happy relationship.

IG: @innatelycrowned