Let sex be the dessert

Sex has been an activity we have invested in from the beginning of time. That dirty, secretive, heart racing, sheets wrinkling, bodies-colliding deed that we engage in, but dare not talk about in public. This three-letter word plays a major role in the world we live in today. It has strong ties to our society- its existence, longevity and foundation. Although, sex is essential in any intimate relationship, it sometimes is not effectively put to work by couples. People have sex for different reasons. Reasons could include love, attraction, lust/carnal desires, rebellion and so on. However, the focus here will be for couples who are in a relationship or want to form a relationship with a sex life that is nowhere near boring.  Now, foreplay is a word that comes to mind when we are asked of how to make sex better and more passionate. That is correct. The only problem is that many people do not know what foreplay is or how to correctly implement it. Knowing the definition of foreplay is different from actually knowing what it entails or where and when to practice it. In my teenage and early adult years, I thought foreplay was kissing, necking, fondling and so on. Boy was I wrong! What is foreplay then? Well since the ‘play” is sex and “fore” refers to before, it is clear to say that foreplay precedes sex. Therefore, kissing, necking, fondling and the other things, most people believe to be as foreplay is not foreplay since those are already forms or parts of the play. The actual foreplay takes place outside the bedroom. Simple things like calling your spouse or partner on the phone to check in on their day or just to hear their voice are forms of foreplay. Other examples of foreplay that couples can engage in are reading a book together, planning game or date nights, taking a walk, taking trips together, holding hands, flirting with each other, or simply complimenting each other’s appearance.  Making each other laugh is one of the greatest foreplay and this is beneficial more to the women than it is to men as studies have shown that humor makes a woman achieve orgasms during sex. This may be the reason women are more attracted to men with a good sense of humor. Obviously, not all men are funny and if being humorous is not your strongest suit, invest in other forms of foreplay or simply snoop around on YouTube and fish out funny videos and enjoy the laughs with your spouse/partner. The list of foreplay goes on but my guess is that you get the idea. Investing in foreplay is what distinguishes ordinary sex from passionate sex especially in a long-term relationship when the honeymoon phase of the relationship is long gone. So, go ahead and weave foreplay into the tapestries of your relationships and let sex be the dessert.