Relationships - you make it or break it!

 I spent some time with my mum today. We talked about a lot of things that revolved around me and life in general. The topic of marriage came up and we talked about how marriage and the idea of marriage had evolved over the years. Marriage back in her time and that of her parents or grand parents were based on the very basic things that mattered back then. Men chose to marry women who were polite, had a nice smile or simply just because they came from a good, reputable family. Those were the simpler times. Times when the parameters set for a mate can be argued to have been based on quality over quantity. Nowadays, marriage is a whole different ball game.  I believe everyone knows that marriage is a union of two souls to become one. However, some people going into marriage don't understand that it is a not a transactional relationship but one that is meant to collectively pull singular resources together to achieve an expected goal. This is because some women believe that the m...

Marriage is not only sacred but instrumental  to the union of a man and woman who have made the decision to commit to one another irregardless of any situation that may arise. Well at least that is my philosophy when it comes to marriage.  When two people enter a long-term relationship, in most cases it leads to marriage.  Most people use marriage and wedding interchangeably because they are similar. However it is important to note that both are different.  A marriage involves the decision and commitment of the relationship while a wedding is the celebration of that marriage.  It is an amazing and beautiful spectacle when you walk down the street or arrive at a place and opportuned to see an old couple who you happen to discover have been married for multiple years.  It depicts love as a lifestyle with underpinnings carved into the wavelengths of eternal and true feelings. I was having a conversation with a friend when getting married to the right person ca...

An avid reader writes, "I have been with this guy for over 2 years and lately he has not been into me as he normally used to be. Is he cheating on me? Should I confront him?    First I'd like to apologize on not replying to your question earlier than now. I believe when you said he has not been into you as he normally used to be, you mean there's a distancing or disconnect from how things used to be. It is understandable that you feel that he could be cheating on you. However, that may not be the case. There are a lot of contributing factors to the issue at hand. 1) He may be going through something in his life that has his attention. Stress from other areas of life or adjusting to new life situations may be a contributing factor to his new behavior.  2) You two may be dissociated emotionally in some ways that need to be addressed. There may be areas in your relationships that may not be the greatest that needs some attention. The result of those attention seek...

An avid reader sent me a message days ago on on social media and asked me the duration of a relationship before it should materialize into marriage. It is a great dating question and i thought i make it into a blog for this month (since February is termed love month). When two people go into a relationship, the expectation is that it ends in marriage or some sort of longtime union especially if they are both marriage ready. When I say marriage ready, I mean they are both mature in age and have some sort of financial or career stability. So back to the question, how long does it take for a relationship to mature into marriage?  Well, it is dependent on three factors.  It depends on the two individuals, where they are at in life and where they are at in the relationship.  The two individuals have to be in sync and be at the same point mentally and emotionally to consider getting married to each other. They also have to be where they want to be in life to be ready to conver...

It's February. Although it's the shortest calendar month, it is a special month because it is black history month - a month in the year that is used to reflect on the history of black people, their heroes, their past, their present and the future. In the month of February, the culture and the significance of the black people in the society are highlighted. The month of February also determines the classification of the current calendar year i.e a leap year. February is also universally known or referred to as the love month since it houses the day couples and families all over celebrate as valentine's day. It's a day set aside annually to make that special person in your life feel special.  Personally, I do not agree with celebrating someone special on one day as I see Valentine's day as a holiday that enriches the pockets of corporations and businesses.  I believe that appreciating those you love or cherish should be done on a daily basis no matter how small that a...

Sex has been an activity we have invested in from the beginning of time. That dirty, secretive, heart racing, sheets wrinkling, bodies-colliding deed that we engage in, but dare not talk about in public. This three-letter word plays a major role in the world we live in today. It has strong ties to our society- its existence, longevity and foundation. Although, sex is essential in any intimate relationship, it sometimes is not effectively put to work by couples. People have sex for different reasons. Reasons could include love, attraction, lust/carnal desires, rebellion and so on. However, the focus here will be for couples who are in a relationship or want to form a relationship with a sex life that is nowhere near boring.   Now, foreplay is a word that comes to mind when we are asked of how to make sex better and more passionate. That is correct. The only problem is that many people do not know what foreplay is or how to correctly implement it. Knowing the definition of f...

Women in general are created to perfection. Their well-proportioned facial features, bodacious curves and innate cat-like walks are some of many things women possess that drive men insane. Traditionally, it has been the duty of the man to acknowledge a woman’s appearance or beauty. Most people would agree that it is the gentleman’s thing to do. A man who takes a woman out on a date is expected to compliment her appearance or beauty if he wants to score a second date with her. Admiration comments are also expected from husbands and boyfriends. Many couples have had fights that stemmed from the husband not complimenting their wives’ appearance. This stresses the importance of verbally acknowledging a woman’s appearance. However, it is also important for the woman to acknowledge the men on their appearance because men do appreciate those words and compliments. Words like “You are so handsome”, “I love that color on you. It makes you look more attractive” makes a man feel like a million ...