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The inner self - your authentic self

When you see a exotic car or a nicely built mansion, it's fair to say that you are enthralled by the outer beauty of that car or house because that is what your eyes are drawn to. Although, that car or house looks appealing on the outside, the real beauty of that car lies in the engine and its other internal parts, which fosters its' movement and durability on the road. The real beauty of that house is in its' foundation, since the foundation and the inner pillars provide stability and structure to that house. Hence, the reason why builders/ architects and car manufacturers spend more time on the foundations of a house and on the engine/internal fixtures of a car than on the external fixtures.  Humans are not different. Our real beauty stems from our inner self and facilitates our relations with others around us. However, we tend to focus more on our outer self by incorporating the use of cosmetic products like make-up to enhance ourselves while ignoring the inner self. Working towards improving our inner self is imperative and highly recommended in our relations with others. Although this may sound complex or tedious to do, it's pretty doable. Here, are my five recommended steps to enhancing ones' inner self:
1. Reflection: Reflection is an innate instinct of humans and act we practice unknowingly in certain  situations.  It's important to reflect on one's self to help figure out things about your inner self you want to improve. There are various ways of reflecting. Some people engage in verbal reflection (venting or discussing a situation with a friend/confidant, therapist, spouse etc.), while others engage in written reflection (when a situation is penned down in a diary or journal). There is also the thought reflection which simply involves thinking over a situation or occurence during a quiet time. All three methods of reflection provides a different and clearer perspective on the issue and better ways to tackling an issue or making a change to one's self.
2. Acceptance: Acceptance plays a big role when it comes to making a change to one's self. When you accept that a part of you needs to be worked on, it just means that you have taken the first step into making a change to that part of you that needs improvement
3. Set goals: It's important to set goals whenever you want to effect change.  Setting goals could be done on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis depending on the change needed to be made and in accordance to the goal setters' discretion. Goals can be done through the use of writing in journals or diaries, drawing up graphs, reflection and so on. However, setting goals is useless when no work is put into achieving those goals.  Goals need work in order for those goals to be actualized. Goals need to be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound (See S.M.A.R.T. goals philosopy).
4. Date yourself: Dating yourself is the best form of intimacy with oneself and allows you to understand your good qualities and your not so good qualities and ways to fix or manage those not so good qualities. It's important to have a good knowledge of yourself  before getting involved in relations with others around you. So take yourself out on dates. Go see a movie, take nature walks, go see your favorite artist perform, have a spa day or go on a trip.  Being intimate with yourself aids intimacy between you and others around you.
5. Harbor love in your heart: Since love is the opposite of hate and also the bedrock of every relationship, it's fair to say that love is the remedy to every issue in any relationship. Harboring love in your heart is important when trying to enhance your inner self. Harboring live in your heart is like having a filter that drains out the not so good qualities you may have. It detoxifies and enables you to have a healthy mental and emotional state. Always love and respect your self because only then can others around you love and respect you.

Working on ones inner self may also involve reading some self help books and also from sessions with a therapist depending on the degree of things that need to be changed. It is admirable and commendable to put in work to enhance our outer selves but it's a lot more important to work on our inner selves since the inner self is your authentic self


Reference

S.M.A.R.T goals philosophy:
http://hr.wayne.edu/leads/phase1/smart-objectives.php





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