Skip to main content

It might be your fault

I had another topic in mind to post for this month's blog but was somehow led to talk about breakups in relationship with regards to cheating on spouses. As we all know, relationships are part of our existence and started from our birth with our mothers to this present moment you're reading this. Relationships are our avenue to communicate with not just ourselves but with our surroundings. In other words, relationships are the propelling force that wields our longevity in society. Relationships can come in many forms: a professional relationship, a familial relationship, a social relationship or a love relationship and so on. In this blog I'll focus on the love relationship. When two people fall in love, the world which we know to be as a mean and nasty one magically becomes the happiest place to be for these two people as a result of the magical nature of love. This is because love stimulates the brain chemical or hormone that is known as oxytocin which is also known as the love hormone resulting in feelings of happiness and euphoria. As wonderful as a love relationship is, some of them result in heartaches and heartbreaks mostly due to cheating on spouses. In this blog, I'll be using the word spouse or spouses to describe not just husband and wife but boyfriend and girlfriend based on preference. Cheating on your spouse is one of the most hurtful act in a relationship not just because it spells out disloyalty but it tarnishes the sanctity of love. As many, I have been cheated on and I used to have the philosophy that the cheater is selfish and that the cheating was all his or her fault. However, I personally don't share that philosophy totally no longer as I think that some cheating that occurs in a relationship are the faults of the cheatee (the person cheated on). What am I trying to say? Well sometimes cheating is a response or reaction to the behaviour or actions of the person that is cheated on. For Instance, if you are emotionally withdrawn from a relationship or tend not to make time for your spouse, it may lead to cheat on you when they find that emotional investment in someone else. I know of a story of this man always brought mac and cheese everyday to work and his colleagues used to ask him why he always brought the same lunch to work and he simply would say "that's what my wife made for me". Although this man liked his wife's food, he wanted something different. One day a female colleague sat beside him and upon noticing that he brought the same lunch again told him that she will bring something different the next day for him to try. And so she did. He tried her food and he couldn't hide his facial expressions. He loved it and so she kept bringing him lunch to work everyday. Then one day the lady invited this man to her home to make dinner for him and that led to him cheating on his wife. Now who caused the man to cheat? You could blame the man for being careless or selfish but you can agree that the actions of his wife led him to cheat on his wife. Also, cheating could occur due to sexual starvation or sexual dissatisfaction. It is important to know your spouse's sex drive and things they like or do not like in bed because sex is a big part of a love relationship. Sexual starvation or dissatisfaction can also lead to being cheated on. Relationships take work to maintain. Relationships do not just function on words but mostly on actions hence, it is wise to put in that work in your relationship to have a healthy and happy relationship and in a case you're not ready to put in the work then being in a relationship is not for you. Get to know your spouse and their likes or dislikes. Don't just be spouses, be friends, be confidants and you will have a healthy and happy relationship.

IG: @innatelycrowned

Labels

Labels:

Comments

  1. Unknown21 Apr 2017, 19:21:00

    Anywayz, it iz correct, but at the saaaaame time, communication can prevent that.... say if you're not pleased and talk.... talk everything.... be honest too. And listen to understand, not to respond.... There's a difference. And when those are done, make up your mind to come outa your comfort zone and compromise for your spouse (not on Godly values though)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Find YOU

If you have read any of my blogs, you would know how I always emphasize the importance of relationships in our existence. Relationships not only gives meaning to our existence, but it also drives our daily routine and life. Our survival, adaptation and ability to exercise our emotions all stem from our engagements in different relationships. Therefore, it is safe to say that relationships play a key role in our lives. Every relationship we form with people is imperative to our growth as an individual, because those relationships in my many ways depicts who we are as a person. Our relationships with others may be important but the most important relationship we could ever form is the one we have with ourselves. Although, this is the most important relationship and the one that requires most of our energy and intentions towards building, it is the one we shy away from the most. We go into relationships with many people without actually having a proper understanding of who we are as a p...
1 comment
Read more

She won't call him handsome

Women in general are created to perfection. Their well-proportioned facial features, bodacious curves and innate cat-like walks are some of many things women possess that drive men insane. Traditionally, it has been the duty of the man to acknowledge a woman’s appearance or beauty. Most people would agree that it is the gentleman’s thing to do. A man who takes a woman out on a date is expected to compliment her appearance or beauty if he wants to score a second date with her. Admiration comments are also expected from husbands and boyfriends. Many couples have had fights that stemmed from the husband not complimenting their wives’ appearance. This stresses the importance of verbally acknowledging a woman’s appearance. However, it is also important for the woman to acknowledge the men on their appearance because men do appreciate those words and compliments. Words like “You are so handsome”, “I love that color on you. It makes you look more attractive” makes a man feel like a million ...
6 comments
Read more

The women and established men theory

You have probably heard women say that qualities they want in a man they'd love to be theirs are tall, dark and handsome. One other quality that women also say they want in a man is an established man. This quality does not make waves like the rest, maybe because it's kind of expected that a man be established before looking to settle down with a woman. However, this remains but a fantasy to women because in reality, there are few women that can cope with an established man. They love the theory of having an established man in their lives but when it comes down to it and are somehow given the chance to turn that fantasy into reality, they shy away from it. In most instances, men who are established know what they want and may seem to favour what women want in a man but it comes with some baggage. A man that knows what he wants has principles and habits that have helped achieve him success. It can paint these type of men as being stubborn, defiant or inflexible. Women are not hi...
4 comments
Read more