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Don't live in the past

Our past has an influence on our present relationships and that is what this month's blog will discuss in detail.  Relationship is a broad phenomena but in this blog, the word relationship will only refer to love relationships i.e relationships between couples. Relationships entail hard work and commitment.  Many people don't realize this because they get lost in the happy and eye-appealing moments in a relationship e.g the happy couple pictures, the relationship nicknames, the romance and so on. When people witness those parts of a relationship, they get drawn or become interested in forming a relationship.  As much as everyone deserves to be loved, relationships are not meant for everyone. The suffix "-ship" symbolizes two people on a ship and being able to steer the ship in the right direction amidst any turbulence along the way. When two people are committed and pledge loyalty to each other, it involves work and sacrifice from both parties. Sometimes, this commitment can result in emotional, mental and physical stress that can put a strain on a relationship.  However, true love and commitment to actions that will keep the relationship afloat when the seas of troubles do attend, is imperative (see previous blogs for relationship tools). Our past always tend to have an influence on the present and future occurences in our lives and this includes our relationships. The pain, the heartbreak and the betrayal we experienced in past relationships tend to show up in our actions or behaviors in our current relationships. However it is important to decide what part of our past that influences our present relationships. Application of the past into the present is great when it helps educate you on how to handle present situations better but carrying emotional baggage from past relationships into present relationships is advised against because it is unhealthy to do so and more importantly the other person in the relationship does not deserve that emotional turmoil. I have been guilty of this in the past when I had moved on quickly to a new girl in order to forget the former girl but ended up hurting the new girl. This only further drives the point home that the saying, "To get over someone is to go under someone else", is short-lived. This means that you may get over that person for a period of time but reality shows up eventually.  It can't be overstated how important it is to properly deal with your past relationships before entering a new one. Sometimes it hurts reliving the hurt, the pain and the heartbreak of the past but through carefully dealing and living through all of the hurt process, a new you is born and the chances of you building a stronger and long-lasting future relationship becomes significantly higher.

Points to remember:
1.The past is there to teach but not to drive your current actions.
2. Always steer your relation-ship in the right direction together. Unity in all situations matter!
3.Apply the appropriate relationship tools in your relationships - your relationship will thank you.

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