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The myth of happiness

Happiness is a commodity of life, we humans strive to purchase at all cost. In some cases, we are stuck on it, feed on it and have withdrawal symptoms from running low or out of it. If we were to define happiness or put it in a sentence, we would say that happiness is the instant effect of realization or actualization. In other words, happiness is achieved when a goal or task is accomplished. Happiness, however is commonly mistaken or misinterpreted by us humans and therefore utilised wrongfully in our relationships with each other. Most people who are single, when asked what they look for in a mate, state that they want someone who make them happy. Also, people who are in a relationship, when asked what they like about their mate, usually state that he or she makes them happy. However, this is far from the truth. This is because no one has the power to make you happy. The truth is that you are responsible for your own happiness. Yes, people can be agents of helping you achieve your happiness but they are not responsible to actually make you happy. For instance, an athlete who has been training day and night for a championship can gain happiness from a great coach who leads him into winning the said championship. Although, that coach helped the athlete win the championship, the coach is not responsible for the happiness of the athlete. The happiness of the athlete is only dependent on the sacrifices, he or she made in the process. Happiness is personal. It is not something your mate or someone else can help you achieve.  Therefore, it is misleading or incorrect to state or require from someone to make you happy. It can only be achieved by you for you. So how do you make yourself happy? There are varieties of ways to achieve that. Let us discuss some. In this day and age of social media, it is important for one to focus more on reality than the onslaught of fictitious or make believe posts that flood different platforms of social media. Realising that not all that is advertised through posts on social media is real helps mitigate depression and in turn, enhance one's self-esteem. Also, cutting off activities and anything that does not add anything positive or fulfilment to your life is also helpful in achieving happiness. Although, all humans deserve happiness, it is fair to say that happiness is borne out of selfish and materialistic desires. Joy, on the other hand is selfless and operates on a different mechanism.
Joy can be achieved or altered through what you engage in or who you spend time with. Joy is a more spiritual feeling and does not come from accomplishing tasks. It can be tricky to distinguish between happiness and joy but one way to know one from another is that joy can be witnessed from truly appreciating someone's success or great achievements while happiness bears an albatross of selfish intentions. This means that when finding a mate or even a friend, it is pertinent to ensure he or she truly wishes the best of successes for you. A friend or mate who truly wishes the best of successes for you will always bring you joy and engage in avenues that empower you. In summary, happiness is mostly achieved when a task is achieved or a goal is reached while joy can be cultivated in relationships. Understanding the truth behind the myth of happiness when it comes to relationships can be highly instrumental to a better defined role of both parties in a relationship.

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