Relationships - you make it or break it!

An avid reader writes, "I have been with this guy for over 2 years and lately he has not been into me as he normally used to be. Is he cheating on me? Should I confront him?    First I'd like to apologize on not replying to your question earlier than now. I believe when you said he has not been into you as he normally used to be, you mean there's a distancing or disconnect from how things used to be. It is understandable that you feel that he could be cheating on you. However, that may not be the case. There are a lot of contributing factors to the issue at hand. 1) He may be going through something in his life that has his attention. Stress from other areas of life or adjusting to new life situations may be a contributing factor to his new behavior.  2) You two may be dissociated emotionally in some ways that need to be addressed. There may be areas in your relationships that may not be the greatest that needs some attention. The result of those attention seek...

An avid reader sent me a message days ago on on social media and asked me the duration of a relationship before it should materialize into marriage. It is a great dating question and i thought i make it into a blog for this month (since February is termed love month). When two people go into a relationship, the expectation is that it ends in marriage or some sort of longtime union especially if they are both marriage ready. When I say marriage ready, I mean they are both mature in age and have some sort of financial or career stability. So back to the question, how long does it take for a relationship to mature into marriage?  Well, it is dependent on three factors.  It depends on the two individuals, where they are at in life and where they are at in the relationship.  The two individuals have to be in sync and be at the same point mentally and emotionally to consider getting married to each other. They also have to be where they want to be in life to be ready to conver...

If you're reading this, you made it to the new year. Therefore, I'd start by saying congratulations. Not everyone made it into 2018, so count yourself lucky.  What are your plans for the year? You may be amongst the significant percentage that make new year resolutions and don't seem to accomplish by the end of the year or the rest who freestyle through the year or you may be amongst the wise few who set goals and work on achieving them at some point in the year. My blog from January 2017 discusses goal setting and how to achieve the set goals by the end of the year.  However, in this blog, I would like to talk about career building and reflecting on the future societal trends. You may not know this but by the year 2030 robots or robotic technology would have taken over a significant part of our workforce.  It has already started. All you just have to do is look around.  The government and business corporations are adopting this idea because of many reasons.  Re...

Dearest you, When I embarked on the journey of writing blogs, it was just my way of putting my thoughts on paper. Well in this case on the net.  It was a little way of me connecting with everyone around the world.  I was nervous writing/posting my first blog (she won't call him handsome) not because of lack of ideas or my writing, but merely about how it would be received by readers.  My first blog which I posted in May of 2016 received tremendous reviews from colleagues, friends and strangers who continue to be avid readers. For the love you've shown me, I want to thank you all. I appreciate all of you.  It has been a great year for me although I still want to achieve more and gain greater heights in 2018. Can you believe it's already December? It sure feels like it was just yesterday when we were wishing people good tidings of the New Year. The year started out with me taking the lead on organizing a donation drive for two charities at my workplace to help the le...

As a little African boy who grew up in the motherland, my mother instilled me with numerous ideals, beliefs and values. One of those values that pertains to this month's blog is tidying the inner places of the house.  I remember those Saturday mornings when my mom would wake me up while I was deep in sleep.  The birds were chirping, the sun was still rising and the cool breeze from the palm trees blew gently through the open windows.   I always asked to get more sleep but she would always decline and say, "son, we have got a lot to do today". So after praying and a quick breakfast, we embarked on this little adventure of cleaning every corner of the house. I always loved music so I remember listening and bopping to songs on the radio as I helped my mom clean the house. Back in those days, there was no vacuum cleaner so we would use brooms and dust packers. I was always proud when I swept up a big mold of dust and I will always run to my mom and show it to her. She wo...

Donald Trump, a known business man and TV personality is the 45th president of the United States of America. I remember being in a state of shock when he won the election last year and was inaugurated into office earlier this year.  Since the inception of his government, he has been controversial in his comments, actions and leadership style. This has caused a lot of hateful comments and criticism from celebrities.  Recent controversial comments from Trump include the racist comments regarding NFL players, belittling and preachy comments on Puerto Rico, Harvey Weinstein and Bob Corker. Trump's administration has brought about feelings of hate and disgust in people to the point that people have marched out in streets in protests as a means to voice their feelings. Although Donald Trump is a little child in an adult body because of his leadership judgment, mannerisms, choice of words and actions, he is just what America needs. This is because he is the most successful American p...

Besides holding a newborn baby or getting a load of it's smile, being with someone you love and care about is the most beautiful thing you can experience in your life. The honeymoon period filled with the barrage of pet names, the calls, the texts, the holding of hands, and kissing in public while ignoring stares from people. Being in a relationship is fulfilling and is part of our growth not just as social beings but as individuals. As I have penned down in previous blogs, relationships involve hard work and commitment. It entails putting up with someone else that might have different behaviors, characteristics and habits that may not always align well with yours.  It involves placing that person's needs above yours in some instances.  In other words, relationships are part-time jobs/probation periods that sometimes lead to full-time jobs/marital life. As beautiful as a relationship can be, sometimes it turns sour and has to end for both parties to lead a happy life. Many cou...